Leading on the Homestead Part 3
Joel and Mark finish their conversation about leading their families on the homestead.
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Transcript
Welcome to Episode 5, Part 3 of Cock Talk. The podcast this is the final installment of episode 5. Mark Paul and Joel Keith talking our way through personal responsibility on the homestead and within your family. Whatever it is that you happen to be running that maybe you're leaning or you are a part of or you're in a partnership with.
::How we do that? We dive into all that if you have not listened to part one or Part 2, subscribe to the show, go back, listen to those, and if you want to watch the entire episode in its entirety, you can head over to YouTube.
::And and check that out the link is in the description as well as all of the links to our socials wherever you like to watch social media content, TikTok and YouTube, Instagram and you can head over there, click the link in the description. Thanks for listening and enjoy Part 3.
::Of episode 5.
::Last part of the segment is kind of talking about today's definition of toxic masculinity.
::It was funny that you were like.
::You're looking at it.
::Cause 100% we would both be classified as being a part of toxic masculinity, but.
::My question is more So what do you feel like? This is the current modern definition of toxic masculinity? What do you feel like is the actual definition of toxic masculinity, and how does that play a role in today's society?
::OK, mom.
::I think that.
::Toxic masculinity from a I guess a very leftist point of view would be that you know, there's this patriarchy that white men, especially white men with money, have.
::Put over the the society that they've they've essentially their ideas. A lot of what religion says, a lot of what the economy is based around is just.
::Propping men up and pushing women down and and and not only women, but also other other culture and other ethnicities, that it's is essentially to prop the white man up and and to set him apart and to allow him to make more money, have more power.
::And that any decision, any thought, process, any anything that goes wrong is blamed on.
::That.
::And it's not to say.
::That.
::There hasn't been certain advantages for for particular people who have money.
::Hmm.
::But.
::It is. It's such a.
::Hit a full like if you want to blame someone else for why you are poor, that's a freaking joke. And like in my opinion, and it's not as I'm not rich, I am not poor, but it is. It is a joke.
::Don't blame anybody else but yourself.
::So you you feel like toxic masculinity is more geared towards white males versus just males in general males in general, I think probably you know.
::Sure.
::I think for the yes.
::I think the the the stereotypical thing is like, oh, toxic masculinity is a guy who takes charge and and thinks that he he is this like ego trip and thinks he's better than everybody else and and is going to make all the decisions. And his woman is going to be his woman and she's going to suck *** **** wherever he tells her to.
::Like.
::I mean, sure, yeah. If you want to go to like, all the extremes of a a man domineering a woman.
::I can get on board with saying that that is something.
::That is toxic like.
::No marriage, no relationship between a man and a woman should be anything where somebody is.
::A slave. I think you're right. Right. And that's that is in no way, you know from from my perspective as a a Christian who has put his faith in Jesus. I mean that's not a.
::We're in. Where?
::That's not at all what Jesus teaches.
::But it it also I mean even take that take that away and.
::If you're going to treat people like they're less than you.
::I have got no time for you, my woman, man white, Hispanic, black, Asian. Like I don't care what you look like, where you come from.
::That is, it has nothing to do with how I'm going to treat them now. Hey, we're going to have cultural differences. And in those cultural differences, are there going to be things that we don't relate absolutely? Like, diversity is probably one of the least tested experiments in the history of mankind. It is not an infallible.
::Like, hey, as long as we keep on striving for diversity, everything's going to get better.
::I don't think that that's necessarily true either. I think that people are going to gravitate to those that they are similar with, but I think that is a mistake to ignore people who are different than you or to not include them or to like.
::To make it so that those people don't have the same opportunity and that's that's BF. But I I do think that a lot of people blame their issues.
::On oil toxic. So you know, men are just little ****. Men are like, or I mean it's it's this idea that like all this, that men somehow have it easy, you know, like being a man in this society is like.
::It's not, you know, you have a huge advantage to be a woman like my. Even my wife says that sometimes she's like, I mean, I'm applying for this job.
::I know I've got like, I'm a woman, so like that automatically gives me a slight bump. It's true. Like, companies do have internal hiring metrics where they go. Well, we have to hire a certain amount. Women we have to hire a certain amount of African Americans and Hispanics, and we want to be a very an LGBTQ and we want.
::We want to be very diverse.
::Which in and of itself isn't bad. If as long as long as those diverse people are also qualified. But the problem is is they will also say, well, they are not as qualified, but that's not their that's not their fault. That's because of the and it's just madness.
::It's crazy.
::You it's funny you say that because you know this is this is an area of topic that my wife and I wholeheartedly disagree on. My wife is much.
::Harder than me. She. I'm glad you're here. I mean.
::That's true.
::Well, she's much more education in that room.
::She's she's extremely educated. She has a masters in social work. She has a.
::She's she's been in situations that I haven't been in, but you know, we we honestly, we had an argument relatively recently about.
::How people are viewed to have specific.
::Advantages. Just because of, you know, them being white or you know they and a lot of it came from the the Johns Hopkins DEI initiative to where if you had, you know, three of these 10 qualities, you would essentially be deemed.
::Yeah.
::Privileged.
::And I was it was quite frustrated with this. It's like just because I'm a white, I'm a white male that has a that is also a Christian. I am deemed as privileged when I come from a very tough background, a very poor background where I come from, a broken home that lived in a rough neighborhood, relatively rough neighborhood where I had things stolen from me on a regular basis.
::By people that I thought were friends and kids in the neighborhood and things like that, bullied constantly and then come up and.
::Certain certain society or part of society, and it's frustrating to me that it's like just because I'm a white male and I'm a Christian means I automatically have some sort of privilege and it kind of to me felt like it was a dismissal of my actual experiences.
::Where it was.
::Hey, you have the stereotype of you're a white male. You're Christian. You you don't have hardships. You don't. You don't feel the same things I do. You come from different backgrounds. So I have it harder than you do. And it's.
::Well, it doesn't. Doesn't make my experience any less because I had a hard time and you had a harder time. It doesn't make my experience any less hard. It still is a tough experience for me, you know, like.
::I had a.
::Lot of situations growing up where I was put in positions where I was like I either fight or grown man.
::As a teenager to get out of this situation.
::Or I didn't make it out.
::You know? Or it was. Hey, I was. I was left at home by some drug addict who was supposed to get married to my mom and then decided to split and take the car and and left me at home by myself as a child. You know, like it doesn't make my experiences any less. So. Why? Why? Because I'm white.
::The color of my skin.
::And my all of a sudden privileged.
::Or because you're a man that that like, if you had been your sister, that you're less, you know that. Yeah.
::Experienced was last year, you know.
::And and I'm not saying that there isn't some sort of.
::Ah.
::There is a sort of some sort of systemic discrimination against, you know, certain peoples. I'm not saying.
::And I think that that to an extent that there is, but I think that there is a genuine difference in whether or not someone actually experienced hardships versus other people that have it, that claim that.
::That.
::Do.
::On and you're right. We all experience hardships. It doesn't matter how hard your hardship was.
::It doesn't negate another person's hardship, like we don't, right? We want to.
::Compare our hardships, which is total BS like you experience something that sucks, like those things.
::That you're describing a second ago. I didn't go through any of those things like I'm. I'm listening to you talking like I'm. I'm thankful that I'm not you, you know? Like that's that's great. But also I mean hey, I like I I experienced divorce which is like that was probably one of the worst things that I've ever experienced in my life.
::That was horrible and.
::You haven't experienced that, but that doesn't like that doesn't mean that what I experience is better or worse, or you know it. Yeah, we all go through hard times and that's how we respond to them. And I think that it it really comes back to this.
::To probably more of a mindset, which.
::I think is.
::Honestly, it relates back really well to homesteading because.
::There are so many people that say they can't do this, like, well, I don't have the property. I don't have. I don't have the land or I don't have the knowledge or I don't have. First off, if you don't have the knowledge.
::Neither did we, but neither did almost anyone that started and decided to do something about anything. Started a business, started a like, started working out at the gym started.
::Eating better started to drive a car like when you started to drive a car. Did you know how to drive a car? No, you didn't. You learn. And even if you're like, well, I did learn. I learned how to drive when I was sick. So I did know something. Well, yeah. Cause you do something from when you were six. But when you, but when you were six, you didn't know how to drive a car. At some point, you got to learn something new.
::Well.
::So to say, well, I just don't the the knowledge thing is crazy because we have more knowledge at our fingertips than ever in the history of mankind. Probably times Infinity for each individual person. Like if you went back 100 years.
::The dumbest person today probably knows more than the smartest person knew a.
::Ohh yeah, for sure and sure.
::100 years ago.
::It's crazy, at least as far as their access to knowledge. It is just unbelievable. It doesn't mean they're lies. It doesn't mean they're wise at all. Probably means there's less wise people in the world today than there ever has been.
::No.
::Because we were a little cocky about our knowledge.
::Uh, but.
::Yeah. I I just, I think.
::It really relates back to home setting because we.
::We all.
::Have excuse. I would do something right.
::And maybe I have fewer excuses because of.
::The like the help that I've been given along the way. You know, there certainly are people, whether you're and it doesn't matter what the color of your skin is or what your gender is.
::The maybe the money that your family had growing up that can, that can be a big help. There's no denying that. You know, you come from money, you're more likely to have money, but there are plenty of people who come from no money, who find their way into money because of their mindset. There's nothing to do with them getting it going to college.
::And getting a good job. It's because even if they, that is how they made.
::Their money those people had.
::A different mindset than their generation before them, they said. I am not. I'm rich and I'm going to go after what I want.
::Right.
::And I'm going to make create generational generational wealth where I'm going to, I'm going to have something that I never thought I could. You can't have those things if you don't have the right mindset, like how many rich people do you know?
::That.
::I have a poor man's mentality that just uh, I don't know everything. Everything happens to me and well with me. No one with money that I've ever met and I have met people with ******* millions of dollars with huge houses.
::They definitely did not have a word with me attitude ever.
::Right.
::I think dude, I think mindset plays into such a huge part of whether or not someone is successful. It's it's fully dependent on what they can say to themselves to say like and is. And this is not like I'm ignoring my circumstance and saying that like, you know what, I'm going to go contradict my circumstance.
::Like I'm doing better than I am. I'm not under that false mentality of lying to yourself.
::Yes. How about wine?
::But like even today I you know, personally I feel like I have been in this.
::Of losses, whereas like dude, I need a ******* win. But I've got a friend group that I like. I can text back and forth in and I can say like, hey, these good things happen to me today and like, I feel good about this. I overall this is a ****** season for me. This is a ****** couple weeks or whatever.
::But like today, here are my wins and the response back that I got from a good friend of mine was.
::That's ******* right. We're a winning breed. And I was like, you know what? ****. Yeah, like, we are a winning breed. Like we're gonna figure out a way, and we're gonna be successful. We're gonna.
::Of our situation, we're going to be successful in something and I think that mindset is what a lot of people don't understand and they they don't seem to be able to get.
::To well, there's always going to be setbacks, no matter how much money, no matter how, like what position of life you're in, no matter how good your life is, there's always if if life is great right now, and if you have.
::All the money you need if you there will be a set back coming. We know that there will be.
::And it's how you respond to the setback that defines you. Yeah. And I think probably anybody here watching.
::You can look back in your life and go. I can point to maybe once or maybe multiple times where a setback happened and you did not respond the way that you wanted to. And I think that's important too, because now you can look back and go. I know exactly how not to respond. I know how I need to respond. The next time one's coming because one is going to come if it's not here today, it's going to be here tomorrow or the next day.
::And that's fine. That's how life is like. There's always, always going to be things happen, I mean.
::People die. Businesses go through hard times, economies crash.
::You know there's.
::There's any number of things that can happen.
::Do you notice though that?
::There are certain people that no matter what happens, they.
::Yeah.
::They they might not ohh it.
::Have everything together, but when all the dust settles, they're still there and they're still moving ahead.
::That like that is, I mean, it's funny because that actually is how home standing is like home standing is preparing for the moment that things aren't.
::Well, yeah, and it actually teaches you how to deal with those things. Because, I mean, if you jump into this and you've never done it before, something's going to happen with chicken. I've had more chickens die than I think I have living chickens.
::So I have and and I like. I live a little bit more in.
::The country and.
::I've have some more, maybe more predators, but I've killed a lot of chickens. My my kid has killed 3.
::Chickens like you know, as a little a little child and going well, we can let her panel these.
::And sometimes they do ridiculous things with a chicken, like put them into the trunk of a little toy car and slam and slam and head into the the seat. Yeah, I mean, like, stupid, stupid stuff that you don't want to happen. You.
::Like it makes me angry. I like, but those are the you also have the the time to take a lesson out for your kid and go you just. You actually just killed something. And like, that's a freaking heavy thing to tell a 2 year old you you actually killed that chicken. That chicken is never coming back because of what?
::Yeah.
::We did do it and like it's not, it's not a guilt trip like she she was too. It was dumb. I mean it, ultimately it is a chicken. It doesn't have a soul, you know, but.
::But you did something to a living creature that killed it. And like she is amazing with those things now because she she knows and like she said before, like, you know, we've had other chickens that die that have names. Some of them have names. We have like 50 of them now. So they you can't name 50. You don't know who's who, but there are certain ones that we know.
::She still talks.
::About Diane, that was like eaten by something, yeah.
::And.
::Have you eaten?
::Under our porch, she still talked about that chicken and it is a lesson like we all need to to teach our kids that death is real, you know, because, I mean, it's it is a real part of life, but it also should be a motivator to you to like, go out, do things, change your life, make your life better. You will not be here.
::Wherever man a kid doesn't need to be scared. You don't need to dwell on death. I'm not saying like be super negative or it like or be weird about it and always be talking about death, but like.
::It really does teach your kids about real life stuff, and you're talking about World War 2.
::There's a reason why Disney movies like Bambi, the mom or the dad always died, or the mom died because that was what those kids were actually experiencing. They when they saw bandits, mom died. They went. Oh yeah. My dad died in World War 2 like.
::Yeah.
::Over in Germany. Yeah, they knew.
::As like they were already going through, it was just relating right back to their experience. We watch it.
::Now we're like, holy ****, somebody died. How could you do that in the?
::Kids movie. But that was what they were experiencing in Disney. Well, Disney was actually just trying to relate to those kids. Yeah, which it just changes your perspective of those movies. And like how we should teach our kids.
::About.
::Some of the things and and that's why I love homesteading cause.
::You just, I mean.
::There's so many lessons to be learned.
::It's it's a practical application to real life and I think that a lot of the times and even in the concept of toxic masculinity and.
::I I feel like there's a lot of aspects of life now that are getting suppressed, that it's just like we want to soften these things because they're traumatizing. Well, I mean, a lot of people learn from trauma. There's a lot of people out there that are like, this is a a really ****** situation that I don't want to be in again. I learned a lesson from this, and I'm glad I learned that.
::Lesson I've definitely been in more than enough situations where, like I don't want to go back there, so I know what to do in the future. I'm not going back there. I I'm I'm not someone who to shy away from hard lessons and I feel like we have a society now that shies away from hard lessons.
::And I think that makes it really difficult for people to learn what's good and what's bad and what they like and don't like, but.
::I think this is uh.
::This has been a great episode for us, talking about some very real topics of what we're we're learning about.
::Individually, as as fathers, as husbands, as well as kind of what we're.
::Is.
::And then individuals.
::It's funny how we have our own experiences and we come back and all of a sudden the same experiences are happening like we're learning the same types of things and we're, you know, becoming better fathers and husbands because we're doing the work and and it really does.
::Yeah.
::It.
::First off, it just gets you above the count into your like gets you out like a reason and not go well. What are we doing tonight? Like, I mean, we've all had it. What we do tonight. I don't know, I guess.
::We'll watch the.
::Show right? Like when the kids go to bed. What do we do? Watch the show. And that's all you do. And there are so many other things that you can do.
::Yeah.
::Yeah. And that's the, you know, hey, it's it's 4:00 on Wednesday.
::Well, let's go out and like, let's check on the chickens. Let's go and do some thing, you know, let's.
::Maybe that's the time you go and collect eggs. It can be.
::Later in the.
::Which actually it is a great time.
::It's getting late. It's getting over to to check on eggs, because generally chickens stop playing at 3:00. So I I actually the other day. So I think for the first time I interrupted a chicken mid egg.
::Drop and like.
::It was like a baby was coming out.
::It's like an anaconda's mouth that.
::It really was. And then out, the egg popped and I I felt bad. I felt like I was interrupting something. I I like, apologized to the chicken. I love that you say right because they're real films. I've 100% been there and I did the exact thing. I'm so sorry. I didn't. I didn't know.
::I didn't know that you were covering my eyes. I don't want to see it, but I.
::I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything.
::You got a nice tight egg drop.
::Do a kegel.
::Well, that's that, that, that chickens just out squeezing.
::Really grew 3000.
::No, I I don't know if we're gonna cover from that.
::And, well, yeah, we should probably just just call it.
::Good on that.
::You're done.
::Are in in the future. You know we we we did say.
::In the beginning, we intended to have.
::At Kates flower. Is that what she is on on? And we will have her on once.
::You know, once all.
::Things have healed. Same with Tyler. Will be back when he shield and we'll we'll continue going but.
::Yeah, this has been fun.
::Yeah, this this has been talk talk podcast with Mark and Joel.
::People find this TikTok Instagram link.
::Where? Tock, tock.
::The podcast I need to find it and in YouTube.
::Yeah.
::Please comment on TikTok because I truly enjoy having conversations in the comments section on Tiktok.
::Even if they are completely.
::Should we just get on LinkedIn just?
::For the for the.
::Hell of it. God, I don't want.
::To be on the LinkedIn is the the the worst about LinkedIn is that it's like.
::LinkedIn.
::And it's the worst.
::Oh, I got a raise and my company's doing something super sweet with everybody.
::They're like, Oh my gosh, like and then people.
::Are like.
::Yeah. Good job, Tom. You're doing great things with your company.
::Direct message. Hey, Joel, if you would like to receive more leads for your marketing company, I'd love to be able to help you out. How would you like to receive 30 more leads a month?
::Right.
::No, I don't.
::I'm saying I'm fine.
::Because I'm pretty sure they're ****. But.
::There's the I mean, LinkedIn is one of the.
::One of the easiest ways to.
::Get organic traffic. Maybe there's farm or something. I can't imagine any farmer being LinkedIn.
::Oh, really? They're like, I've had enough of Tom's multi level marketing scam.
::We're definitely not on TikTok because they're too big of conspiracy theorists to be on TikTok because of their terms and conditions.
::But then there's other ones. Yeah, I know. There's. Yeah.
::But Instagram is Facebook.
::Though yeah, nobody wants to deal with Martinez.
::What are you going to do that's true.
::There's there's no safe place, so we'll we just we just have to enter the danger zone. I guess that's where we're.
::We're we're everywhere where you want to. If you're there, we're there. So that's.
::The tip of the spear with the tip of the spear.
::That's the best. Yeah, you can find us on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.
::For.
::All those things and then also you know our podcast, if you like to listen to us in audio form you know your.
::You just don't like to look at.
::And audio filing, which is understandable because I'm not super attractive. So you can you can find us on Spotify, Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, all the good things, all the other things. Gosh, there's there's like, a million of them. I, you know, I look at those and I'm like, oh, listens to stuff on like.
::Everything else really please.
::Overwatch or like lying, that is, but nobody's there.
::With these other things.
::That people listen to podcasts on. I I have listened to some there. There's some cool pod pod catchers. I think something because you can you can get podcasts that are.
::Like you don't get, you don't get ads, or you don't get. Or maybe you just don't want to, guys. So you want to use little ones.
::I can. I can get that I can get on board with that. That's cool. That's cool. There's.
::That.
::There's some other good ones out there.
::The moment I have a.
::Sponsor that we're throwing it on. Contact me.
::Yeah, I mean we.
::Yeah, we'll happily go exclusive on that one of those networks. We'll see you later.
::If you're willing to supply a bottle.
::Of whiskey. I'll pretty much do anything.
::Yeah, so find this over there, subscribe to the show, and you know if if you if you find us on social media and you want to drop a comment like.
::Our stuff, we.
::I really love if you disagree with her ****. Just stitch it. Stitch it.
::Oh.
::And yeah, actually make a video.
::Tell me why I'm wrong.
::I love that it's the best. I absolutely I truly actually love it. I.
::I was trying to.
::Get someone to do that.
::Recently that was was like.
::I saw it's like, yeah, that one.
::You're you're.
::Ridiculous. You're just a Trump supporter and you wanna.
::Do all this stuff for.
::For one, that's what I said.
::I remember.
::To yeah, for one, I've.
::Never voted for Trump in my life.
::Q2 tell and stitch it and tell me why I'm an idiot because I would love to hear why I'm.
::I have twice but actually 3.
::Wrong, which is a really weird thing to say. And then he deleted his whole thread, which is BS that you can do that you just delete your one comments. All the rest it's frustrating, but no. If you have a different opinion, I'm going to want you to explain it. And if you can't, then you know this.
::Well.
::Room. Room. Go away. That's.
::If you can, dude, it makes me so proud of you. I don't. I don't. Yeah, I don't. I'm happy when people disagree with me. Think that's fun? That's why I'm marrying my wife. We're the opposite. Is she is just like no dumb. Stupid. This is, this is it. And I'm like.
::OK, you know what? That actually makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, we're the complete opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to political views. I don't know how we work as a couple, but I absolutely love the fact that we are complete opposites.
::You're like you were indoctrinated by the man.
::Opposites attract I.
::Guess that's true. They do. But anyway we have the the very first date that Kenny and I went on. It was like 21.
::Didn't you have some sort of weird March 17? And I was like, she was from Ann Arbor, which, if you know anything about Ann Arbor, it's a very liberal area. And I just wanted to know, like, how liberal she might be because I'm.
::Not. And I saw I asked her, like, did you vote for Hillary Clinton? And she was like, oh, no, I voted for.
::Trump, I was like, OK.
::This this.
::Just I just get, you know, maybe we can get into that on another episode. Like would you date somebody who voted for somebody that somebody else you know, would you? Yeah, how?
::Would you feel?
::About that, if you hate my opinions, you're gonna.
::Love my wife.
::That's true. Yeah. Stay. Stay. Stay.
::Tuned for here they come on the show.
::Maybe we should do a talk talk.
::Podcast of Justice Kate, Katie and Anna, and they run the show.
::And then when the show takes.
::Off then we're screwed.
::Then we're out of the job.
::Like I love these girls. I hate those guys.
::Don't listen to them.
::They be like those guys are idiots. All right, well, that's actually all. Find us on the things and we'll we'll talk to you.
::Later to you.
